Terrouge Firebird
It's like bungee jumping-you don't know whether to take the leap or even look off the edge. You know you're going to falter like a new ice skater and you might just fall through the ice…but, hey. Somebody's got to take the first step, plunge into oblivion, and hope with all their might that they won't break through the ice to find that their attempt was fruitless. Of course, it could easily be fruitless. How many times do people say, "Man! Check this out! You gotta try this!" Only to find that little first go to result in trips to hospitals. There doesn't seem to be much coming out of such bravado.
In this first attempt, I'm going to attempt something. (*Gasp* What a concept!) I'm going to try to start a humor column. I'm going to try to be like the infamous Lagomorphia. If it fails, I'll have one [slightly] humorous article in the archives that shows I didn't have the proper ability to make people laugh. (C'mon, just laugh once. There's a good reader!) Why in the world I was trusted to do this in the first place is beyond me, and I'm pretty sure someone's going to regret this. As a matter of fact, they probably already do, and are coming after me with spatulas and rulers. You see, I can be pretty funny in real life, but I'm not so sure how funny I am on paper…or, in this case, on your computer screen.
I'd like to say I drew an idea out of a hat or something. There is, after all, only about a trillion different ways to write about the trillion different topics that could be written about. I could write a normal article using my subtle and almost non-existent humor, I could probably even make fun of some book I read, or I could ramble, as I appear to be doing now, or I could-let's avoid the list, shall we? This is supposed to humor you, not bore you. Hey, I said it's not supposed to bore you! Wake up!
Will I be like King Arthur in Monty Python and the Holy Grail? My thoughts do travel everywhere. But in the end, I am only a random writer with random thoughts using a keyboard instead of coconuts to make noise on her random quest for, instead of a shiny golden grail, distinct yet fresh humor. (Not doin' my job, am I?) Time to bring out the freshener!
I can be funny sometimes, you know, I just don't think most humor really stuck. I have moments, I guess, but they flee so swiftly. (Quick! Someone get some superglue before they go away again!)
This seems like one long introduction, doesn't it? In a way, if it goes as I plan, this article might be one long introduction to a long series of funniness that might-will-be much better than it was the first time around.
Since this is like a long introduction, I should conclude with something. The real question here is whether or not my attempt is worth the effort. Did you enjoy this, even the teeniest tiniest bit, or do you feel like you wasted too much of your life and would like to sue me for lost time? Should I or should I not continue? To write more, or not to write more? Ah, that is the question.
After all, I am funny, yeah? Don't worry; you don't have to lie…too much.