Slagar the Cruel:
Coast to Coast
The Worst Redwall Fanfic Ever
TEH QUEST FOR TEH BLADE OF POWER:EPALOG
Ook this is the final part of my fanfic nad it is very good and u should read it rite now. plz. Its achualy not a part. Its. an epalog. Its about what hapens to the characters after my story. I want to right a diferent storry and Shuu likes kill stuff, if u remembr last part so EULALIA
::it was teh time of 2 years being after TEH QUEST FOR TEH BLADE OF POWRE and they never found a blade of power but they did have a mop::
Matthias: I am very old. Are u also old Brushslay?
Brushslay: I am not old. I am your ally.
Deyna 2nd: i now have a son named Denyna the 5th.
Rose: And I am maried to Deyna the 2nd.
Krad: O look, i'm still dead! Thats just GREAT.
::tehn SUPERSTRIPE THE UNREALISTIC appeered back from his long voyaj thru his self-created universe::
Superstripe: hey guyz, i brought you somnething
Matthais: spell chekers!?
Superstripe: no, something even better.
::Superstripe thru some pills at the characters::
Superstripe: tehse are authro-immuntiy pills. try tehm
::Matthias, Rose, Denya 2, Brushslay, and everyone else and Superstripe all eat teh pills::
In a flash, Matthias was freed from the horrible Author's spell. "I... I can SPELL!" he cried in astonishment. "And I'm being described by a half-decent author!"
::hey u cant do that::
Deyna the Second grinned. "On the contrary, we can, and we did! It's ironic, isn't it, that your own stupid plot device has freed us from your tyrannical grasp once and for all."
::tehn DEYNA AND MATTAIS AND SUSEPESTRIPE DIED!!!!!!::
Superstripe laughed. "You have no more power over them, you cretin! Because you are not really an author. You are, as we ultimately powerful badgers say... an idiot."
::omg u loosers u sux0r! im suposed 2 b righting this fanfic::
Rose glared furiously at the sky, and shook her fist, shouting, "You made me, a MOUSE, marry an otter! For that you must pay. But we can't attack you... yet! Superstripe, invent an author tractor beam!"
"I already did, 5,000 seasons ago," boasted Superstripe, more than likely lying. In any case, he produced the device. He then placed it on the ground. Immediately, it emitted a red glow, and shot a beam into the sky. The evil author was dragged wailing to the ground.
"Oh-em-gee oo losers!" he began, but it was cut off by his gasp at how his terrible grammar translated into real life. "What did oo do to me?"
Matthias laughed. "You have been reduced to a character in your own fanfic, scum! Now we will put you in your place, lame one! By the Sword of Martin, Redwall defenders assemble! REDWALL! REDWALL! REDWALL WARRIORS, HOOOOOOO!!!" The bizzare reference completed, the Redwall defenders DID assemble- all 247 of them, including mice, squirrels, hares, and a red badger.
"Why the red badger?" Rose asked to nobody.
The red badger leaned over to her, and whispered, "Popular demand, I think. Either that, or our new author is just as big of a hack as our last one!"
That being said, the Redwall defenders defeated the terrible author in less than 5 seconds. (Superstripe was sleeping while fighting. Otherwise the author would have been defeated before the battle had even begun.)
Turning to the audience, Matthias began to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen, all who came here to witness this terrible fanfic: we apologize for the terrible writing which you were forced to experience. The moral of this story is that if you're a bad enough author, even your characters won't like your stories. Now, with that terrible story being settled, we characters will present you with a REAL story. A story with action, adventure, romance, sorrow, and happiness. The Best Redwall Fanfic Ever!" All creatures present applauded. "We will begin with
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLO-ACK! MY THROAT!
Redwall, Slagar, and all related properties (C) Brian Jacques and the Redwall Abbey Company. All rights reserved.