Some Laughs And Games About Redwall

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Slagar the Cruel:
Coast to Coast

"Ask Slagar"


Cruel Jokes


Mecha-Slagar VS. Redwall... OF THE FUTURE!!!
Sneak Preview!

The NEW continued adventures of Slagar the Cruel!

    For a while, this website has explored the possibilities inherent in the question "what misadventures might the beloved Redwall series villain Slagar the Cruel experience while dead", in features such as the ever-popular "Ask Slagar" and "Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast". With these sagas drawing rapidly to a close, we I of Project S.L.A.G.A.R. have gone on to ask a new question: "what misadventures might the beloved Redwall series villain Slagar the Cruel experience while still alive... again?!"

    Hey, you remember how in that book Mattimeo, Slagar died by falling down a well, right? Imagine for a moment that below that well, there lay a deep underground bog, which the foxthief fell through and was drowned by. And now imagine that, a few millenia later, a band of excavators uncovered Slagar's corpse, almost perfectly mummified and preserved by its surroundings. Are you getting tired of imagining yet? Well then stand back and let the hardworking staff guy of Project S.L.A.G.A.R. do the imagining for you!

    Those excavators happened to be the nefarious crew of pirates, treasure hunters, and archaeologists working under the merciless Captain Ironpaw. The prize truly sought by these and other vermin (OF THE FUTURE) is the ruins of the original Redwall Abbey. Thought to be wiped off the map long ago, the Abbey is now agreed upon by many (FUTURE) experts to have simply been displaced below the ground a bit by some form of advanced technology, traces of which could either be sold for a high price, or used to rebel against the new predominant woodlander haven, Redwall OF THE FUTURE.

    With all of the landmarks of yore gone (the mountain society of Salamandastron has moved on from its roots to become the space military of Space-Salamandastron, for example), this is considered a difficult goal at best - as demonstrated by their ending up in Loamhedge's ruins by mistake in the first place. Captain Ironpaw does not leave empty-handed, however... upon learning that the fox whose remains have been discovered existed in the ages of Redwall, he orders that the body be taken with them and cloned, using a form of alternate future cloning technology where the subject's clone is exactly the same as they were before they tied. After an apparent early mistake in the cloning process (one half of the face didn't seem to be coming in quite right), the vermin scientists append cybernetic parts to much of his body to sustain the new Slagar. And allow him to shoot missles and fly around, probably.

    Mecha-Slagar's disorientation upon learning that he is now made partially out of metal and that he actually died centuries ago is quickly soothed by the knowledge that Redwall Abbey ended up being destroyed after all (and that apparently vermin history books have come to erroneously bill him as a great conqueror), and he agrees to help the vermin to find the lost Abbey. What exploits lie in store for this anachronistic antagonist? Find out for yourselves as Redwall meets science fiction for the first time on the internet! For the first time without being boring, I mean!


Redwall, Slagar, and all related properties (C) Brian Jacques and the Redwall Abbey Company. All rights reserved.