Some Laughs And Games About Redwall
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Slagar the Cruel:
Coast to Coast
General Surgeon Warning: This fanfic is SUPPOSED to be bad. I've combined the worst elements of Redwall fanfiction and rolled them all up into one, huge, awful, good-for-nothing fanfic. Why read it, then?! Who knows, you might learn what NOT to do, or you might laugh at the pitiful excuse for writing.
NOTE: reading this fanfic has been known to cause a fondness towards actual Redwall books you've taken for granted. View the following fanfic with caution! Not responsible for lost or stolen articles. All your base are belong to us. Please keep hands and arms inside the site at all times. Don't throw pennies over the ledge. The worst Redwall fanfic ever is not for everyone, side affects may include, but are not limited to, blindness, deafness, and death. Please consult your physician. Non-toxic! Close cover before striking. Not suitable for children under the age of 4, may contain small parts. Financing subject to credit check and approval. See teller for details. Keep out of reach of small children.
DISCALIMER: I dont own redwall, redwall is owned by brain jaques. i own all the character s in this story except for ones i didnt make.
Gartar the mean was a fox who had long hair like a human that was died blue. He wore jeans, tennis shoes. and a leather jacket. He was a leader of a horde that was really big Gartar had a sister once but she kille d him. Then he was the ruler of his fathers horde. He killed his father to. Gartar wanted to take over mossflower and cut down all the trees and biuld a forest and build a tower. Then hed take o=ver mossflower and destroy redwall because he knows everyne else failed and he wants to be known as the best ever. And it was after The Bell Mkaer and before the Salamndastron
Gartar the mean's horde had 800 marlfoxes, 800 wolfs, 700 foxwolfs, 600 pine martins, 500 wild cats. and one rat. The rat was named scrubbo. Then a squireel named Oakoe came in and slayed Scrubbo. 1 of the marlfoxes said "who killed scrubbo? whos here?" Oakoe tried to kill the marlfox whos name was Icelina with his gullwhacker but was slayed by Gartar. "I hate fishes" Gartar announed. His horde shouted agreement
Meanwhile in Redwall, the abbot was a otter named Shuu. Even though he was an abbot, he kcicked but. One day, Shuu just jumped out of the abbbey and killed stuff. everyone said "Shuu, why did you do that" and he said "i like kill stuff!" I cant tell you why hes an abbot becuz its a secret.
Then Gartar said "lets take over redwall" but in the horde there was a trader. He traded behind Gartars back and one night when Gartar fell asleep the trader picked up a knife. The trafer was named Null and he was a wildcat who used a hook as a weapon.. Null picked up the hook and said "Haha now Ill get revenge on you Gartar becuz you didn't promote me! Now I'll kill you and rule the horde! Then Gartar who wasnt really asleep pushed a button and Null fell in a whole. "Taht's what you get when you trade against me!" Gartar snorted.
At redwall, Oakoes brother Windwillow came to redwall. "Windwillow said "my brother died trying to stop the evil wolf and his horde. Hes dead" Then Matthias camea nd said "Ill stop Gartar's horde." Then Windwillow told Matthias about Gartars horde. "WHAT?!?!" matthais said. "You mean that there is 800 MARLfoxes in Gartar's horde?! How is that possible? And foxwolves aren't even real! They're just foxes wearing wolf costumes! How'd he get so many rare creatures, many of which would be impossible to get? Are you just making this up, you foul cretin? And another thing. Why am I in this story? It's impossible for me to be in this chronological setting!" then matthias forgot about being smart and desided to help
then Gartar laughed. "haha, now i can get into redwall after 5 seasons of trying. once before i tryied to get the secret (sp?) plans and then i couldnt get them and they were for the door and they would open the dorr and well these are the secret plans! hahahahahahhhahaahahahahahahaaha!" then a badger lord named Superstripe the Unrealistic appeared. "whor'e you" Mokkan Jr. said. (he was mookan's son) Superstripe laughed and said "i am neither brocktree or sunflash. i am superstripe, the instrument of your defeat." Then he shot an energy blast out of his hand and killed Mokkan jr. and then he killed a bunch of vermins and they couldnt get him. then they went towards redwall, too, also, to, but then superstripe teleported away. ZOOM
Redwall, Slagar, and all related properties (C) Brian Jacques and the Redwall Abbey Company. All rights reserved.