Some Laughs And Games About Redwall

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Slagar the Cruel:
Coast to Coast

"Ask Slagar"


Cruel Jokes



4/17 - I majorly revised the Links page in order to get rid of all the unrequited link exchanges and actually be 100% candid about the state of the websites I've included. Needless to say, some burnage is doled out. I've also removed some spelling errors from the last C2C, but, well, you didn't read it anyways, did you? Booo.

Oh yeah, almost forgot: if you care about this site's ultimate fate, you might want to check out this thread in the forums. Details about impending doom enclosed!

4/13 - The final episode of Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast has been released! Be warned, it's probably more akin to a film script than a television one length-wise, so don't expect to get through it all in one sitting.

By the way, in case you didn't notice, that last update was posted on April 1st. Which, at least in my culture, is a day of saying things that aren't true. Take from that what you will.

4/01 - With "Ask Slagar" over, and STC:C2C's finale already announced as being in the works, you're no doubt wondering what feature will take their place. Well, wonder no longer! Instead, view this sneak preview of Project S.L.A.G.A.R.'s next brilliant idea.

3/31 - ENOUGH WITH THE PROBLEMS ALREADY, "THE HAUNTED ABBEY 2: THE CURSED VILLAGE"! Seriously. But yes, one last bug-fix that you might be interested in redownloading if you find yourself unable to beat the game. In this version you can simply burn down the tempermental bookcase, and the collision glitch is essentially gone.

3/30 - Tragedy strikes "The Cursed Village"'s release! If you downloaded the game within the first day or two after it came out, you might face a serious bug in the Municipal Quarters area. I've posted an explanation for how to deal with the error on my forums. 3/29 - The (incredibly long) wait is finally over! The Haunted Abbey 2: The Cursed Village has been released at long last. I generally avoid lauding my own work, but I think the amount of effort expended on this project shows. I really think that this game is the best work I've completed for this site to date.

Have fun.

3/8 - So! "Ask Slagar" is over. Yes, one of the longest-running features of this website has been permanently discontinued (right before its 5th anniversary, no less) for reasons that should become clear in STC:C2C episode 10. Speaking of which, the slight lack of finality in the last "Ask Slagar" update will be made up for in the aforementioned C2C installment. So, watch out for that. And Haunted Abbey 2, coming next week. Probably.

As an aside, the 300th "Ask Slagar" was submitted by the same individual who introduced me to the Redwall series in the first place. Yes, it is he who is ultimately responsible for the hours of free time squandered satirizing people who read children's books and designing Space Invaders games that feature mice in the place of spacecrafts! So, thanks. (I think.)

3/1 - Alright, so it's been a month since this site was last updated. I'll grant you that. But consider, dear friends, that much of that time was split between the Haunted Abbey 2 (which, I must persist, will be great), and the long-awaited Cruel Joke #6 (available now!), which I have to say pretty much surpasses anything else I've done for the internet so far. Check it out for yourselves!

2/1 - 4 or 5 new "Ask Slagar" questions have been answered. I think Sorry about the weakness of most of the updates as of late, but most of the time I set aside for working on this site has been drawn to projects that lack immediately visible results as of late, and besides that I want to at least round off one last page of "Ask Slagar" before closing that whole Dead-Slagar-Continuity. I've also been having trouble putting together a new chapter of The Adventures of Superstripe, because it feels like any Redwall-fandom-satire I produce will invariably pale in comparison to Chapter 7. With any luck, all of this will be out of the way by the end of February, and PSLAGAR can move on to bold new frontiers. Well, as bold as frontiers in the underground Redwall fan-entertainment business can get, anyways.

1/21 - 2 new "Ask Slagar" questions have been answered, and 3 episodes of Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast have been updated with DVD features. By the way, in case my earlier hints weren't clear enough, "Ask Slagar" is going to end in the near future. I'd like to end it on a round number (preferably 300, although that looks extremely unlikely right now), so if you've ever wanted to send a question in... now is the time.

If you're wondering, it looks like I'll have The Cursed Village done and ready to be released by the end of next month. I'm also currently looking into ways I can use mySQL and PHP to improve Project S.L.A.G.A.R., so things you can expect in the future include: some kind of Comments and/or Ratings system, a Login function that will allow you to interact with the site in new ways, and also one of the hugest advancements this site has ever seen (which I won't talk about in-depth quite yet in fear that I find myself unable to pull it off). So yeah, one would do well to keep an eye on this place.

1/9 - 3 new "Ask Slagar" queries have been answered! Two of which are actually just kind of evasions. So anyways, I've been failing miserably at adhering to my self-imposed Wednesday update schedule, haven't I? Sorry about that, but between personal issues, school, continuing to work on The Cursed Village (which, BTW, has a really great backstory that is proving difficult to balance between "too subtle" and "over-explained"), and looking for ways to rehaul the site (which will, with any luck, be about 1000% more interactive by the time I'm done with it)... I just sort of let the little regular updates fall by the wayside. I guess I'll just discontinue those for a while and update weekly-ish until things settle down.

1/1 - First things first: I finally finished the 9th episode of Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast. It features almost all of the content requested by YOU, the fans, in a "concept" chapter which will make more sense when the series is completed, I suppose.

So, 2005 is over, and this site's time under the name "Project S.L.A.G.A.R." passes the one year mark! So, let's look at what's been accomplished in that stretch of time: a total of seven new Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast episodes have been produced, about sixty "Ask Slagar" questions were answered, four chapters of the Adventures of Superstripe were composed, and a short but pretty high-quality game by the name of "Scout of Salamandastron" was released, along with a demo for a game that will be even better. You could essentially sum the past year up as one of continuation for PSLAGAR.

And that's all well and good, but as a new year dawns, those winds of change are a-blowin'. Think about it - the Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast episode guide lists a total of 10 upcoming episodes, and I just completed the ninth. Also consider that the STC:C2C continuity is intimately tied to "Ask Slagar". So... you might want to send in those "Ask Slagar" letters while you still have the chance, if you catch my drift. Furthermore, while it'll take a while more to kill the guy off, Superstripe's tale is also drawing to a close.

"Wait, but [webmaster whose name escapes us]", you might say, "if you're planning on giving the axe to your site's monolithic mainstays in the near future, what's going to happen to PSLAGAR?" A fair question! You see, my original plan was to slowly supplant my own presence on this site with the work of others with attitudes towards Redwall and the Redwall community similar to my own over the course of this year. Thus the "JOIN PROJECT SLAGAR'S STAFF" message I had up in this piece not too long ago. It hasn't been working out too keenly! So far, anyhow. I'll have to keep working on that in the coming year.

But then, I'm sure YOU, the viewer, does not care about any of this behind-the-scenes nonsense! You are here for Redwall satire and entertainment, and I am here to tell you that in 2006 Project S.L.A.G.A.R. will deliver. Joining the final parts of Coast to Coast and Superstripe will be many new and reformatted Javascript games, The Cursed Village, Vermin Invaders 3 (which quite frankly will make the other two look even more shameful than they already do), one last work of Redwall satire, and at some point the kind of "community-authored" projects which I hope this site can play host to after I'm no longer involved with it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, have a safe and happy New Year, guys! Don't forget to read responsibly, hold hands while crossing the street, boycott the Long Patrol, and send in more "Ask Slagar" letters!

12/21 - I meant to have the next episode of STC:C2C ready by now, but I've been dealing with some pretty serious issues as of late which have kept me from completing said satirical continuation. I'll try to have it out later this week. In the meantime, you might check out "Some Kind of REDWALL QUIZ" in the Games section, as it has become the first target of my thankless yet honorable new campaign to get rid of all the code I've taken from other sites and replace it with my own. You may notice differences here and there in the Javascript games in weeks to come as I rewrite them from scratch.

12/14 - 2 new "Ask Slagar" answers. Yeah, that's it. There will be a better update next week, probably.

12/8 - I FINALLY finished the new chapter of Superstripe after spending about an entire day working on it. Be warned, however, that this is no ordinary chapter of TAoS. If you go to any other Redwall websites, you may be offended by some of the satire enclosed within. And if you don't, then you just won't get any of it. Rest assured, though, that my intent is not to... actually, you know what? I can't imagine contraversy doing anything for this website besides helping it by making people aware that a thing such as Project S.L.A.G.A.R. exists, so kindly just assume that I'm as angry and subversive as is indicated by this parody, and tell your friends that the sinister Project S.L.A.G.A.R. is out to threaten people and end the ROC. Or something.

12/7 - Tonight's update may be a bit late in coming, but I can promise you this much: it shall feature a badger whose stripe is notably super.

11/23 - A very special Thanksgiving batch of "Ask Slagar" answers has been uploaded for your enjoyment. Give thanks for this or despair! (Also, I might not update next week on account of my being sans-interweb until next Tuesday.)
11/16 - Every chapter of the Adventures of Superstripe is now complete with "DVD" features. Exciting, huh? Anyways, as you might have noticed, one of this site's most popular features, Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast, is finally winding down to a close. If this disappoints you, because you're worried that the show isn't going to get to cover all of the Redwallian topics you thought it would... then make requests for what should appear in Episode 9 HERE!

11/16 - Every chapter of the Adventures of Superstripe is now complete with "DVD" features. Exciting, huh? Anyways, as you might have noticed, one of this site's most popular features, Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast, is finally winding down to a close. If this disappoints you, because you're worried that the show isn't going to get to cover all of the Redwallian topics you thought it would... then make requests for what should appear in Episode 9 HERE!

11/11 - Sorry about the late update this week, I just had to get a palindromic MM/DD date on here somewhere. Anyways, the newest episode of Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast has been released. Fans of "Ask Slagar", you will probably like this episode. Also, it already has one of those DVD things in it, and if you are a really big "Ask Slagar" fan I would suggest clicking it.

11/2 - 8 new "Ask Slagar" replies have been uploaded. READ THEM AND WEEP.

Also, some forum members pointed out to me that the Cursed Village demo's installer does NOT create a shortcut in your Games folder, even though it is supposed to, but the game gets installed regardless. Simply check the folder created in your Windows directory. And FYI, the voice applications are technically closed for the first episode of "Broadcast of Redwall". We'll be contacting you shortly if we think we have a place for you.

10/31 - Just in time for Halloween (literally), I'm going to unveil the new prequel to this site's original supernatural-horror action/adventure game, "The Haunted Abbey" - The Cursed Village! Well, sort of. I've actually been far too busy this month to give this project the attention it deserves, so all I've been able to scrape together is a rough demo which contains very little of the overall game. It should be a fun and interesting taste of things to come for fans of the original regardless, and you may download it here.

10/12 - This has turned out to be an extremely busy month for me, so I'm just going to forego the weekly update schedule until I'm able to complete the new Haunted Abbey game. Sorry, guys, but it's kind of imperative to finish this thing before October is over, for obvious reasons.

10/5 - 2 new "Ask Slagar" questions have been answered. It's not much, I know, but I'm afraid I'll probably be sticking to these sorts of low-maintenance updates until I'm able to finish this year's Halloween game. Also, I know I'm sounding like a broken record here, but please consider applying for a position here at PSLAGAR. I probably won't be accepting voice applications after October, so time is of the essence.

9/28 - There's a new Javascript game in the Games section. It's pretty simplistic, and I made it mostly in order to prove that I didn't need to rely on ripping the code for Javascript games off of other sites anymore, but, yeah. It still counts as an update. I might add a more interesting and complicated setup to it later.

9/25 - A few days late, and a few dollars short, I've put up the seventh episode of Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast, in which there are many Marlfoxes, and many, many words. I would make note of how it's the longest one yet, but that's been true of pretty much everything I've written for this site for the past couple of months, so I won't. And remember, applications are still being accepted. If you're interested in helping with the first Redwall audio show ever or the art for upcoming PSLAGAR games, please consider applying!!

9/14 - I've implemented the so-called "DVD features" for STC:C2C episode 2 and The Adventures of Superstripe chapter 4. Plus I've added a new link to the "Links" page. But more importantly, if you're up to contributing to the site in some way... applications are now being accepted! I urge anyone who enjoys this site, wants to help it in a very significant way, and has the means and skills to contribute to at least consider joining Project S.L.A.G.A.R.'s staff.

9/7 - 5 new "Ask Slagar" questions have been answered. So, you know, read them and send in more. At your leisure. By the way, if you're wondering about that "heads-up" message from last week, I'll probably follow up on it and provide instructions for how to apply for such a position this coming Wednesday... although this depends on how quickly I'm able to sort things out with... someone, who's going to be playing a crucial role in... something. Okay, I don't know why I'm bothering to even say these things when they're too cryptic to even really register with anyone but myself, but whatever.

8/31 - The sixth chapter of The Adventures of Superstripe is now available for your reading pleasure. And yet AGAIN, this is the longest chapter ever. Really, it's more like two seperate stories wedged together... but if I were to seperate them, I would lose the whole "different-parody-every-chapter" thing I've had going. So if you're somehow crazy enough to waste your time reading a 6,000 word piece of a Redwall parody - that's after I edited it down - then enjoy! Hopefully I'll learn to be more concise by the next time I update.

Also, if you're a fan of Project S.L.A.G.A.R. and you'd like to contribute to the site in some way... well, actually, I'll make a formal announcement about this later. Just consider this a sort of heads-up that I'm looking for people who'd be willing to lend their artistic skills or their voice (yes, I mean that literally, like as in the kind you record with a microphone) to some of PSLAGAR's future endeavors.

8/24 - 4 new "Ask Slagar" questions have been answered, rounding off Page 13. (And don't worry, I'm doing a fairly good job of building up reserve content to put up on weeks when I'm not able to actually do anything for the site, so the Wednesday update schedule is to remain in effect for quite a while.)

8/17 - I've made an important decision regarding the future of this website... one which I feel will make the site more fulfilling for both myself and viewers. You see, from now on, Project S.L.A.G.A.R. will recieve weekly updates! Henceforth, a new addition will be made to this website every Wednesday. I'm not going to lie - I doubt I'm ever going to be able to crank out a Superstripe chapter, a C2C episode, or a game every week. It's more likely that updates of this caliber will be made monthly. Weekly updates will typically consist of "Ask Slagar" answers, new "DVD" comments, and possibly updates to completely new fairly low-maintenance features I'm working on.

For now, however, I'm kicking off the update-every-Wednesday trend with a new episode of Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast. Which is, like the last episode, longer than every part that has come before it. I've also changed the episode lineup for STC:C2C, so if you're interested in... the future... then take note of that.

8/13 - All I've done for today's update is modify a bit of Cruel Joke #2. And nothing else. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

8/8 - I've updated "Ask Slagar" with about five new questions. How about that?

7/28 - Less than a month after the last Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast update, and just over a week after releasing the longest chapter of The Adventures of Superstripe ever, I present to you the longest episode of Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast ever! I think it's fair to say that I'm finally making up for the huge chasms which normally seperate worthwhile updates. (Although I'm starting to wonder if all this "longest-ever" stuff is such a good idea. At this rate everyone who tries to read this site's parodies is going to ruin their eyesight.)

7/20 - The fifth chapter of The Adventures of Superstripe has finally been finished. Be warned: it's the longest chapter by quite a bit. And don't worry, even if it seems like this chapter is a good place to end the series, it's not over yet. Also, I revised that little blurb right above the list of updates. Exciting, huh?

7/17 - Okay, so it's been just over 2 weeks since I came back from my "hiatus", and I still haven't updated... BUT! I have an excuse: my internet connection wasn't functioning for almost this entire stretch of time. Anyways, I've updated "Ask Slagar" yet again. The next chapter of The Adventures of Superstripe should be coming up later this week.

7/2 - My brief hiatus is over, so I guess that means I'll have to deliver content regularly again. To start things off, I've added a new episode of Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast. It could be either the best or the worst episode of the series so far, but it's definitely unique. And I go out of my way to make jokes at the expense of anime. Pretty subversive, right? Yeah, I thought so too.

6/16 - The first new downloadable game ever made available since the switch from STCP to Project S.L.A.G.A.R., Scout of Salamandastron, has finally been released. So check that out.

Anyways, tomorrow marks the beginning of the "second phase" of my hiatus (as mentioned in my 5/3 news update). This means no more updates until July, I'm afraid. Until then, you can report any bugs you find in the new game here on my forums, and I'll try to fix them when I get back.

5/27 - Today, "Ask Slagar" is 4 years old! WOO! To celebrate, I've updated "Ask Slagar". I might have updated more, but as I said earlier, I'm kinda busy right now and haven't been able to work on this site much. (I'll probably have the new game up sometime early next month, though.)

5/3 - Yeah, once again I'm currently encountering some obstacles in my academic life. There's been some turbulence in the me zone, if you will. So, for the next month and a third or so, I'm going to take a break from updating this site, or working on it in general. And then, after all of that's out of the way, I'm going to be traversing the land mass known as Europe for a week or two, which will add on to the amount of time in which I'm not going to be working on this site.

This really isn't much of a big deal, considering that I didn't update for almost 2 straight months around the time this site first opened, and barely anyone batted an eyelash. Just thought I'd let everyone know the situation ahead of time.

Re: the future - there are definitely still things coming down the pipes, as far as Project S.L.A.G.A.R. is concerned. Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast and The Adventures of Superstripe will both reach some semblance of closure in... to be safe, let's say "less than a year from now". "Ask Slagar" will continue to be updated whenever possible, and whenever I actually have letters to use. And yes, there are more downloadable games coming. Three, to be precise. Two of these you will be familiar with, as they are follow-ups to popular features of this site, and one (which will be released the earliest) will be a bit more original. Also, expect a sort of contest/job opening in the relatively near future for those of you with artistic inclinations. It will relate to one of these game-type projects.

One last thing - on the 27th, this site will be 4 years old. (Well, "Ask Slagar" and the Cruel Jokes will be. And the basic essence of the site will be. So I say that makes it the site's fourth anniversary, in an admittedly roundabout way.) Just to clarify, in case I don't get a chance to say anything about it on the day itself.

4/30 - Because you, the fans, demanded it... for some ungodly reason... I have created a fifth Cruel Joke, which surpasses all that has come before it in its cruelty. What has science done?!?!
I also made the instructions for how to get in touch with me a bit more clear. Because apparently, I still was not being speciffic enough.

4/15 - Three new "Ask Slagar" questions have been added. Hopefully they will alleviate any fears you might have of my take on Slagar becoming less abrasive.

4/3 - Do you ever find yourself wishing that Project S.L.A.G.A.R. was even less of a step up from its previous incarnation as "STCP"? Or are you looking for a pseudo-nostalgiac vibe from this website, for some unearthly reason? Then check this out. ^O_O^

I may implement more of these "skins" for the site in the future.

4/1 - APRIL FOOLS! Don't worry, guys, I have no intention on going on a hiatus (though I'll still probably update highly irregularly), and I certainly have no intention of creating content viewed as "conducive to ROC civilization-building" or anything like that. Project S.L.A.G.A.R. will remain unique and innocuous!

3/19 - Three new "Ask Slagar" questions have been added, along with "DVD" features for the first episode of Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast. Yeah, I know, it's a pretty weak update, but don't worry, I'm not blowing off the site just yet. I've still got at least one trick up my sleeve...

3/7 - The fourth chapter of The Adventure of Superstripe the Unrealistic has finally been completed. I am told it involves a badger named "Superstripe" with a penchant for carnage.

2/26 - The Dark Forums now play host to a fully-functioning interactive Redwall-themed RPG system! You should go check it out. And while you're at it, how about actually posting something? Feedback would be particularly nice. My current lack of it has been less than reassuring. I guess that's what I get for not updating for two months... BUT STILL.

2/20 - "Ask Slagar" update to-day. Actually it was updated to-morrow, I guess. Because right now it's two in the morning on the 21st. Going on three. As Gartar says, I HOPE U APRECIATE IT

2/19 - Episode 3 of Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast has been put up. I also made a slight update to the Cover Gallery (thanks to TDF member Ysabelle for helping with this one.)

This, uh... this took a while. And it definitely took more than two weeks. Sorry, guys. This shan't be the norm. School's just been keeping me really busy lately. (Hey, at least I didn't "leave the internet" this time.)

12/23 - Okay, so I didn't end up putting anything up "tomorrow". My internet wasn't working, so don't look at me. The Cover Gallery has been updated, and I've completed the "About" page. If I don't update again until after the holidays (highly likely), Merry Christmas, everyone! (STC:C2C and Superstripe updates will be coming over the next week or two.)

12/21 - Hey, 12/21 is palindromic! Isn't that something? Anyways, I'm going to put more new content up tomorrow, but for now here's an "Ask Slagar" update. Enjoy, and Happy Holidays!

12/12 - The Cover Gallery is finally up, so check it out if you're interested in seeing what I intend to be the definitive visual archive of the covers of Redwall books.

12/10 - The Cruel Jokes are up. And one is COMPLETELY NEW. <- does this boldface text not entice you to check it out?

12/8 - DVD features have been added to the first "volume" of Ask Slagar (pages 1-6). Also, three COMPLETELY NEW questions have been answered. So, check it out, and SEND MORE QUESTIONS! The Cruel Jokes and the Cover Gallery are coming next, by the way.

11/28 - About a year after the end of STCP, I've FINALLY managed to produce it's successor. Most of the content is already up - including several new features which STCP never carried, including a new Javascript game, a new episode of Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast, a new chapter of The Adventures of Superstripe, new DVD features for The Worst Redwall Fanfic Ever, and DVD features for The Adventures of Superstripe.

What I haven't gotten up just yet, but which you can expect in the near future, is: the Cruel Jokes, DVD features for Ask Slagar, DVD features for Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast, the ultimate Redwall Cover Gallery, and Vermin Invaders 2 DX. Beyond that, you'll just have to wait and see.

Redwall, Slagar, and all related properties (C) Brian Jacques and the Redwall Abbey Company. All rights reserved.