"Ask Slagar" is easily one of the oldest - and most popular - Redwallian projects ever undertaken at this site. In this farcical advice column, YOUR questions (well, yours and everyone else whose questions make it in) are answered by Slagar the Cruel, that lovably twisted slaver from Mattimeo. Scroll down to find out how to submit your own questions to the column.
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(NOTE: any questions and/or answers below this point may make reference to STCP, my old website where "Ask Slagar" used to run. So... deal with it.)
Of course, one of the best things about "Ask Slagar" is that it's interactive. Every question I recieve is answered and put on the site, as long as it follows a few rules...
Like I said, I answer these questions pretending to be Slagar, so you should NOT send questions regarding the person really answering the questions (yours truly), or Project S.L.A.G.A.R., for that matter. A lot of people have broken this rule and gotten away with it, as you can see in the archives, but it irritates me and I'll be less likely to use your question if you do it. I've complained about people who do this via Slagar so many times that it's not funny anymore, so from now on questions that break this rule will be summarily deleted.
Only send one question until the next "Ask Slagar" installment is uploaded. This could take up to a month, so be patient. If you send multiple e-mails before the column is updated, I'll only use one.
Don't swear, promote illegal behavior, or do anything that could be offensive like that. Come on, guys, this is a REDWALL site, you should know not to do this already.
ACTUALLY SEND A QUESTION IN YOUR "ASK SLAGAR" LETTERS. Don't just mock him and/or try to establish yourself as an advice column "personality". Too many people trying to do this will inevitably make "Ask Slagar" horrible.
I'm not saying that stupidity isn't funny, but I really prefer intelligent questions over dumb ones. If your question is smart, it will dramatically improve its chances of being answered.
After reviewing the guidelines, give it a shot and send Slagar a letter at the following address (WITHOUT THE UNDERSCORES):
DISCLAIMER:Redwall, Slagar, and all related properties (C) Brian Jacques and the Redwall Abbey Company. All rights reserved.